I have recently had an article published in issue 61 of English Teaching Professional. The article looks at ways to deal with plagiarism, a practice used by some students and made easier by the power of the Internet.
You can find a link to the magazine here.
Posted under Writing
This post was written by Richard on March 22, 2009
Manuscript format should be a fairly simple issue. Yet from some of the questions I’ve received, it would seem that people like to make it complicated — from editors who prefer a particular style and therefore declare that all editors want the same style, to writers’ groups who insist that one must use this font and that layout and so forth.
If conflicting advice on format has left you confused (and wondering if your manuscript will be rejected unread simply because you put your address in the upper right corner instead of the left), the following tips should help clarify the issue.
Most editors in any genre (articles, short fiction, long fiction, etc.) want a manuscript to conform to the following basic requirements:
Articles and Short Stories should begin about halfway down the page (some folks say two-thirds). Your name, address, and other contact information (phone, fax, e-mail, etc.) should be placed in the upper left corner of the manuscript, in a single-spaced block. The wordcount of the article (rounded to the nearest 10 or 50) should go in the upper right corner. Your title should be centered on the page at the halfway point, in a larger font than the text (boldfacing is fine). Skip two lines, and center your byline (either your real name or your pen name) in a slightly smaller font. Skip another two lines and begin your article.
Novels and Nonfiction Books require a cover page. This can be prepared in a variety of formats, but the simplest is to center your book title halfway down the page. Skip two lines, and center your name or byline. Skip another two or three lines, and center your contact information (real name, if different from your byline, address, phone, fax, etc.) If you are using an agent, you may wish to include the agent’s name and information here (or the agent may prepare a separate cover sheet). Skip another two or three lines and include the total wordcount of the manuscript. Then, begin each separate chapter of the book on its own page, beginning halfway down the page with the title of the chapter (or number, if the chapter has no title). Do not include your byline on each chapter, or any contact information.
Running Headers are expected on articles, short stories, novels and nonfiction book. A running header should appear at the top of every page (except the first), and include the following information:
For example, a running header for an article titled “A History of Feline Chiropractic Care” might look like this: Allen/Feline Chiropractic/…2
Page Numbers in a book-length manuscript should be sequential from the first page of the book to the last. Don’t number each chapter separately (e.g., 1-1, 1-2; 2-1, 2-2, etc.). Today, it’s the rare computer system that won’t allow you to work on an entire book-length manuscript in one document. However, if you find this cumbersome, there’s no reason why you can’t create each chapter in a separate file and assemble them into a single document later. (Keep in mind that these days, most publishers will expect you to deliver not only a printed copy of your manuscript but, eventually, an electronic copy as well, generally in Microsoft Word.) If you find it too difficult to get your headers/page numbers to skip the first page of each chapter, don’t worry about it; this is a manuscript, not a finished product.
Contest Submissions are formatted much like regular article or story submissions, with one exception: All your contact information should be included on a cover sheet, like that used for a book-length manuscript. Do not put your name or any contact information on the first page of the story/article itself, and do not include your name in the running header. The cover sheet will be removed from your submission, so that the judges do not know anything about the author of the piece. (If you see a listing that asks for work to be submitted in “contest format,” this is what it means.)
Amazingly, people get into heated discussions over what types of fonts editors prefer. Some folks claim that all editors want manuscripts in Courier (the font that looks like your typewriter font). Lately, some editors and writers have come to prefer Arial. So what do editors really want?
The truth is, most editors really don’t care, as long as the font is readable. (I can state this with confidence, having done a survey of about 500 editors; 90% expressed “no preference” with regard to font.) Very few editors will reject your manuscript because it happens to be in New Century Schoolbook, Palatino, or Times Roman. Generally, it’s best to use a 12-point font size, and to choose a font that doesn’t “squinch” letters together too closely.
The rationale for Courier dates back to the days when editors did an eyeball “guesstimate” of line lengths to determine exactly how much space a piece would fill in on the printed page. Courier is a “fixed-space” font, meaning that each letter takes up exactly the same amount of space. This made it easier to estimate how an article would appear when typeset. Today, however, very few editors need to do this (or even remember that it was done).
Arial is a nice, readable font — but it is also a sans-serif font, which many editors don’t like. (To see the difference between a serif and sans-serif font, compare Arial to Times.) So before you use this font, be sure your editor really, really wants it.
The bottom line on fonts is simply this: If your editor expresses a preference, or if you’ve heard from five other people who have submitted to that same editor that s/he is obsessive over fonts, use the font the editor prefers. But if your editor has no preference, don’t assume that s/he has one — and don’t “get your knickers in a twist” over the issue of font.
Some editors prefer that you do not include bold or italic type, and use underlining to indicate titles or emphasis. To be honest, I ignore this injunction, and have never found that it “hurt” my sales, with the single exception of Byline magazine, which scans hard-copy manuscripts and therefore does not want formatting. Again, if the editor is emphatic about this, listen to the editor; otherwise, follow your heart.
Submitting your manuscript is a fairly simple process. If your manuscript is short (less than five pages), it is acceptable to fold it and send it in a regular business-size mailing envelope. If, however, your manuscript and cover letter combined come to five pages or more, it is better to use a manila envelope for your submission.
Use as small an envelope as possible that will allow your pages to lie flat, but not slide around. A 9×12 envelope will usually be sufficient, unless you have a very thick manuscript.
Do not staple or paperclip your pages. Insert them into the envelope “loose.” If you are including photos or artwork, protect them with cardboard. (One good approach is to put them inside a separate envelope, with cardboard protectors, and put that envelope into your main mailing envelope.)
Address labels look more professional than hand-written addresses. One easy way to generate address labels is to buy a Dymo label-maker for your computer — you can simply copy the address from your cover letter, paste it into the label-making program, hit “print,” and you have a neatly formatted label. Otherwise, I recommend typing labels (it’s a great reason to hang onto your old typewriter!) I also recommend ordering preprinted return-address labels for yourself — and don’t clutter them up with puppies or flowers or such! (You can also use these return address labels to label your SASE.)
Now that most writers use printers rather than typewriters, most of us consider our manuscripts “disposable” — i.e., we don’t expect the editor to send them back. (And no one expects editors to scribble suggestions and comments on our work anymore!) So it’s no longer necessary to include a return envelope that will hold your entire manuscript, or enough postage to return that manuscript. Instead, just include a business-size, stamped, self-addressed envelope (SASE) for the editor to use to respond to your submission. (Do send a return envelope with postage if you want photos or artwork returned.)
Some writers like to include a stamped, self-addressed postcard with “check-off” boxes for an editor to use. Some editors find this simpler than a SASE, but it requires you to actually develop a postcard for the editor to “check off.” Personally, I consider this more trouble than it’s worth; it’s much simpler to just self-address an envelope and put on a stamp (and a postcard really doesn’t save you that much money).
When submitting a book manuscript, you’ll usually need a box. While such things as “manuscript boxes” do exist, they aren’t easy to find — and they aren’t necessary. Instead, just use a regular mailing box — such as the type of box you might receive from Amazon.com. A file-folder box will also work well for mailing a manuscript, but you may need to pad it a bit to keep the pages from sliding around. (Plastic shopping bags work just fine for this.) Again, don’t secure your pages with staples, paper clips, or heavy clips. At most, if you’re afraid the pages may slide around in the box, you can secure it with a single rubber-band around the middle. If you’re including a disk, put that in a separate envelope inside the box. Again, most publishers aren’t going to make comments on your manuscript, so there is no need to include postage for its return; just include a regular SASE.
As you might imagine, electronic submissions break nearly all the rules listed above. If you are sending a submission as an e-mail attachment, you can still format your manuscript as you would for print; however, if you are including your manuscript in the text of your e-mail, you’ll need to follow very different format guidelines.
In e-mail, obviously, you don’t have to worry about paper quality, ink, margins, or running headers and page numbers. Here are some of the things you do have to worry about:
Most e-mail programs automatically convert a double-spaced document into single-spacing; don’t try to change it back. This will only create format problems at the other end.
You can still indent, but some e-mail programs “lose” the tabs, so a double-space may be the only way to indicate a new paragraph.
I am always amazed to receive e-mail messages in microprint. Mishawaka is a good e-mail font; be sure to select “normal size”. When in doubt, send yourself an e-mail; if the font looks tiny, increase the size or change fonts.
Most e-mail programs still don’t translate these well, resulting in odd symbols that make a transmission look garbled. Indicate underlining or italics by placing an underscore character next to the word being _underlined_. Indicate bold with asterisks on either side of the *word* you want to emphasize.
if you are going to transfer that document to e-mail. This includes curly apostrophes. These do not translate well in e-mail, resulting in a manuscript that is littered with weird symbols — a manuscript your editor will not only find hard and frustrating to read, but will have to go to great lengths to “fix” for publication. Do not use a keyboard-generated “m-dash”; use ” — ” to indicate a dash instead. Do not use symbols at all if you can help it; you never know what an accent mark will turn into at the receiving end.(name, address, etc.) and wordcount at the very beginning of the e-mail, before the title.
or send material that has previously been formatted in HTML. Remove all HTML codes. Turn off any option in your program that is likely to convert your submission to HTML.
(Do not send any unsolicited submission as an attachment.)
This can eliminate many format problems. (Use plain text, not Rich Text Format.)
I mentioned putting your name and address on your manuscript at the beginning of this article, and I’m going to mention it again. I am amazed at how many manuscripts I have received in the past couple of years that don’t even include the author’s byline, let alone full contact information. Keep in mind that when you are submitting a manuscript as an attachment, this document may well become “separated” from the “cover e-mail.” Most likely, an editor (like me) will store manuscripts in one file and e-mail messages in a completely different file. And since, like me, most editors may keep a manuscript six months or more before publishing it, by the time we get back to that article in the file, we may have no idea who wrote it.
Thus, the bottom line in all manuscript submissions is really the top line: At the very least, include your name!
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Moira Allen is the editor of Writing-World.com (http://www.writing-world.com) and the author of more than 300 published articles. Her books on writing include Starting Your Career as a a Freelance Writer and The Writer’s Guide to Queries, Pitches and Proposals.
Posted under Writing
This post was written by Richard on October 25, 2008
Like a lot of people in our materialistic society, I used to identify myself by what I had. That is to say that I believed that who I was was determined by my possessions. I used to subscribe to the myth now prevalent that having “stuff” was the route to happiness.
Paradoxically, the more I possessed, the less content I found myself. In 2003 I began to ask myself why this was.
After my marriage of 20 years became untenable and we divorced, I found myself in an entirely new position where I could no longer sustain the lifestyle that I had endured before. Having freed myself from a marriage that was causing me a great deal of pain and anguish, I began to free myself from my possessions, too.
The first thing to go was my car. I simply rang the finance company and asked them to take it back. They initially tried to pursuade me to sell it and pay off the outstanding loan, but I was within my rights to ask that they take it back. This they did.
When the man came to collect the car, the sense of loss I expected to feel was instead of profound sense of relief. It was as if a huge weight had been taken from me. It was as if the car was a burden that I had taken upon myself along with all the other possessions I had so jealously clung to throughout my adult life.
It occurred to me that if it felt so good to divest myself of my car, it ought to feel just as good to divest myself of other possessions.
Having had so much, but been so unsatisfied, I decided to try the opposite path and have as little as possible. The car had been the first thing. The marital home would be the second.
I instructed my solicitor to sign over the house and all the remaining contents to my wife in order to expidite the divorce settlement and cause as little disruption as possible to her and our two children. My solicitor was horrified and begged me to reconsider. She said that I was entitled to half of the house and that I would get it. I stood my ground, instinctively knowing that my decision was the right thing to do. My solicitor made me sign a disclaimer to the effect that I had made the decision willingly and had not been given bad advice.
With the house gone I set about getting rid of my remaining possessions. Most things I gave away to friends who I knew would have a use for them. Many of my friends thought I was temporarily insane and only took what I gave them on the understanding they they were “looking after them” until I regained my senses. Everything else that I could find no friends to take I sold for nominal sums.
I sold my remaining 400 books to an elderly bookseller who was both delighted and surprised to get them for 40 pounds. He told me that several of the books were individually worth more than what I was asking for the lot.
I sold a Piaggio scooter for 100 pounds, the maximum price an item could be sold for in the local paper’s free ads. Such was the interest in the scooter that people were bidding more and more for it, the eventual offer I received being over 1000 pounds. I sold it to the first man who had called for 100 pounds, as he needed it to get to work.
I parted with my beloved microscope and many other previously “prized” possessions for equally small sums over the next few months. Eventually I possessed only the clothes that could fit into a rucksack, and an elderly laptop that I got in exchange for my powerful desktop and 22 inch flat screen monitor.
While all this was going on, I was living alone in an isolated rented cottage. Without a television or other distractions I was able to sit and look at myself over a nine-month period, and eventually find myself.
Finding oneself is something of an old cliche. People climb mountains, sail oceans, and do a million other things to “find themselves”, but all you really need to do is give away everything you own and sit alone without distractions for a long time. If you can’t find yourself then, you don’t exist.
I would liken finding myself to a form of enlightenment. It is an enlightenment that has not diminished since. I no longer measure myself by what I have and I no longer find myself wanting to possess things.
As Lao Tzu said: Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment.
I have everything I want and need in my life; a loving and well-loved wife who shares my philosophy of life and time to spend fulfilling my potential.
I am no longer motivated by money or possessions. I earn little money, but have difficulty spending it as there is nothing I can think of that I want or need. I am simply free to be myself, and to achieve my potential – not in terms of material possessions, but in terms of understanding, fulfilment and creativity.
I do have things now, but I have them on different terms. I don’t possess them, and only have what I need. I don’t buy things for the sake of buying them or to make myself happy. Except for food, I rarely go into shops. When I do I find myself saying, “Look at all these things I don’t need!”
I don’t worry about losing the things I have. They are not me and I am not me as a consequence of them. I am who I am and who I am is not dependent on anything outside of myself.
The things I have are the things I need for my work. My work is my fulfilment. I work because I enjoy it not because I want to make lots of money. I write. I translate. I teach. I create art. These things I do because I love doing them.
I think it was Confucius 孔夫子 who said something like, “Find something that you love doing and do it for the rest of your life. You will never work another day in your life.”
He was right.
If there is one message I would like to pass on to the world it is that everyone needs to shut their eyes and ears to the greedy and materialistic world around them and look inward without distraction. Throw away your television. Cast out your magazines. Sit quietly, alone and without distractions, and look at yourself.
This is the way you will find yourself, and having found yourself you will understand the importance of being you.
Posted under Health, Lifestyle
This post was written by Richard on August 28, 2008
Have you ever said that you want to be a writer but don’t have the time? I hear so many people bemoan the fact that they don’t have enough time to do the things that they want to do, but I normally point out to them that they have the same 24 hours a day, 365 days a year as everyone else.
Why is it that you don’t have enough time to write when so many people do mangage to find the time? There are some things in life that steal our time without our noticing. They steal our time seductively, but pretend to offer something of value in return.
The most insidious of these time-stealers is television.
I’m not going to tell you how worthless television is. If you watch television then you already know, even if you try to kid yourself that there is some value in sitting in front of a screen while other peoople tell you what to think and how to feel.
Add up all the hours that you spend each week watching television and try to tell me that if you had all that time free to write you could not produce all the writing you ever dreamt of producing.
You can fool yourself into thinking that there is value in television. There are some great documentaries on television, I’m told. There are wonderful nature programmes. You can learn a lot from television, I hear you say.
Can you?
I thought you wanted to be a writer?
Writers need to read.
Why don’t you switch off that great documentary and read a book on the subject instead? You are guaranteed to get a deeper insight into the subject than you ever would from television, and you will be enhancing your writing by reading. In a documentary on television you might hear a few hundred or a thousand or so words. It takes only minutes to read the same number in a book.
It helps me relax, you insist. Again, I ask, does it? I find writing very relaxing. Writing is almost like meditation when you immerse yourself in the act of writing.
So throw away your remote control, unplug the television and throw it into the nearest rubbish skip – or give it away to someone who wants to spend the rest of their life thinking about what they could have achieved if only they had had the time to achieve it.
I threw my television away in 2002. If I could have anything I wanted in life, I would have back the countless hours that I must have wasted watching television. I remember virtually nothing of what I have seen on television, but I remember so much of what I have read in books.
But we can’t turn back time, and wishful thinking is also a waste of time. At least I have not wasted another moment since that day of emancipation in 2002. And since that I day I have never again found myself thinking how wonderful it would be if I had the time to write.
Don’t keep making the same mistake. This is the only life you are going to have and it’s never too late to change course.
Throw your television away today and discover that you really do have all the time you need to become the writer that you are.
Posted under Lifestyle, Writing
This post was written by Richard on August 28, 2008
A humorous look at the history of contraception that appeared in Mayfair magazine.
Man has throughout his carnal history tried to limit the sometime consequences of sex, namely children. Great minds have devoted themselves to the quest for the perfect contraceptive, their ideas ranging from the highly effective to the unbelievably ineffective.
Celibacy is for many an unattractive alternative to sex, and for these the simplest contraceptive is coitus interruptus. Known to the 240 odd trusting teenagers in Britain having first-time sex each night as “withdrawal”, it is the only contraceptive method mentioned in the bible. Chaucer, the 15th century English poet, puts the Church’s interpretation of Genesis 38, verses 8 to 10 succinctly in The Parson’s Tale. He writes that when men “shedeth hire nature in manere or in place there as a child may nat be conceived yet it is homicide,” a view which has caused centuries of soul-searching for Roman Catholics.
Others took a different view. Al-Ghazli, the Arab writer, in his book, “Good Manners Concerning Coitus”, recommends it “for cases of financial hardship.” Nearer our own time the same advice has been given by such radical free thinkers as Francis Place, the 19th century champion of contraception.
Originally in favour of complete withdrawal, Place had a change of heart. “The most convenient and easy, as well as the most effectual method is”, he decided, “for the man at the moment of spending to throw himself on his left side by which motion he not only extricates the part, but gives a slanting direction with respect to the woman, so that being thrown not directly but in a sidelong manner it is perfectly impossible for the womb to receive it.” His children were a fine example of its efficiency – all 15 of them.
For many the willpower required at the crucial moment was sadly lacking. One anonymous author wrote: “How a gentleman could make a practice, at the moment of unutterable ecstasy, of withdrawing from the arena, is more than I can conceive.” One imagines his poor wife found it only too easy.
Closely related to withdrawal and much favoured by the Chinese is the art of coitus reservatus. Believing that if a man refrained from ejaculation he would enjoy a long life, they tried to follow the example of the Yellow Emperor who, “had intercourse with 1200 women and thereby became immortal.” Mastery of the art took great willpower, and suggestions for training included, “Gnash teeth one thousand times”, “pause nine times after a series of nine strokes”, and “pretend the woman is ugly and hateful.”
Woman whose partners had mastered the art enjoyed an incredible sex life. Marie Stopes, founder of “The Society for Constructive Birth Control and Radical Progress”, wrote of “Male Continence” in the 1920′s. “The union is protracted, and the erection, after being active for a length of time varying from twenty minutes to ten hours, naturally subsides before withdrawal.”
John Humphrey Noyes, a great advocate of “Male Continence”, set up a commune based on it in America. Described in 1848 as a “utopia of obscenity” and an “outgrowth of lust”, the Oneida Commune encouraged free sex and wife sharing. Age, however, seems to have robbed Noyes of the skill, if not the energy, for after his 58th birthday he fathered eight children.
Noyes could have turned to the Chinese for help with his problem. For the semen to “return from the Jade Stalk to the brain,” they said, the woman should, “grasp the testicles tightly at the moment of orgasm”, or less painfully she should apply pressure to the base of the scrotum.
Should the unfortunate girl find her lover less than adept at the techniques, she could gain solace from the wisdom of the ancients. Hippocrates, the father of medicine, says, “After coitus if the woman ought not to conceive, she makes it a custom for the semen to fall outside when she wishes this.” Other great physicians showed how. Soranus of Ephesus, a Greek writer in the first century, says that the woman should, “Immediately get up and sit down with bent knees, and in this position try to provoke sneezes.” Nine centuries later, Rhazes, one of the most celebrated Islamic physicians, elaborated on the advice. “Let the two come apart and let the woman rise roughly, sneeze and blow her nose several times, and call out in a loud voice. She should jump violently backwards seven to nine paces.”
Marie Stopes recommends this “far from secure, yet sometimes successful method,” when the woman has a “domineering ruthless husband who renders her helpless.” Aware of the indignity of leaping around a cold bedroom, to say nothing of disturbing the neighbours, she adopts a much more genteel approach. “Sit up immediately after sex union, and cough very hard with as much muscular contraction of the lower abdomen as possible, followed by immediate urination.”
The idea of dislodging semen is found in many cultures, but it is to the Marquesas islanders in the Pacific that we must look for the most novel approach. A traveller reported that, “when a group of men went out with one woman, and had intercourse with her in rapid succession, publicly, which was a common amusement, the last man had to suck the semen from her vagina.”
Man soon realised that semen was a necessary part of conception, though its exact function remained a mystery for thousands of years. If semen could be kept out of the uterus, he reasoned, pregnancy could be avoided, and so he began to devise suitable barriers, the earliest, and most imaginative being the vaginal pessaries of Egypt.
Discovered in Kahoun in 1889, the Petri Papyrus of 1850 BC lists several pessaries, the most popular of which seems to have been, “crocodile’s dung cut up on auyt-paste.” For those with a sweet tooth there was “one henu of honey. Place in the vagina, this to be done with natron” (naturally occurring sodium carbonate). A henu was equivalent to one pint. The effectiveness of the pessaries can only be guessed at, though a later papyrus, the Ebers of 1550 BC, gives a prescription using the tips of acacia, a plant which produces lactic acid, a powerful spermicide still in use today.
Animal dung is used in pessaries from many cultures. Rhazes describes one made of “cabbage, colocynth pulp, the inner skin of pomegranate, animal’s ear wax, elephant dung and whitewash.” As crocodile and elephant dung can be difficult to obtain, the dung of any awesome creature would do. The Aztec Badianus manuscript of 1552 explains, “and you shall put into the vulva the crushed herb of the calabash or cucurbita root and eagle’s excrement.”
If dung was a powerful contraceptive, how much more effective would be the whole animal? Though no one suggested using a whole elephant, the Aztecs did recommend using the ashes of a dried lizard. According to Pliny the Elder, Olympus, the expert midwife of Thebes, says that, “there is nothing better than to anoint the natural parts of a woman with ox-gall incorporated in the fat of serpents, verdigris and honey.” Its lack of success perhaps accounts for Pliny the Younger.
Pessaries were made by women skilled in the art, the client getting a full refund if the pessary failed to work. Their effectiveness can be judged by the fact that Queen Cleopatra, highly skilled in the use of pessaries and men, had but two children.
Physical as opposed to medicinal barriers were also developed. Designed to be removed after intercourse, they took many forms, the earliest again coming from Egypt in the form of lint tampons soaked in acacia and honey. At the same time, in India and the Far East, they used a ball of soft feathers and metals. By 100 AD, Soranus of Ephesus was recommending wool tampons soaked in wine. Unfortunately he could not decide whether the tampon should be inserted before or after intercourse.
Other physicians also saw contraception as an opportunity to make a name for themselves. Rhazes wrote, “It is necessary to apply to the uterus before receiving the seed, some drug which would block the uterine aperture.” Good advice it was too, until he ruined things by adding, “She should sit upon the tips of her toes and push at her navel with her thumb. It would help if she smelt foul odours.”
Arabian Pharmacologists of 1200 AD looked again to animals for the ultimate contraceptive. “Take the testicle of a wolf,” they proclaimed, “and it must be the right testicle. Rub it with oil, wrap on wool and insert it into the vagina. This would cause her to lose desire and lessen the chance of conception.” As far as the wolves were concerned it certainly worked.
Developing logically from the pessary was the cervical cap. First made of rubber by Dr Freidrick Adolphe Wilde in 1838, the “Dutch Cap” has a long history. Thirteen centuries before Wilde, Aetius of Amida, lacking rubber, used the scooped out half of a pomegranate, while in the 18th century, Casanova himself used half a squeezed out lemon. So impressed with Casanova’s method was Marie Stopes that she included it in her book, “Birth Control Today.”
These methods were difficult to use and destroyed the spontaneity of sex. A less obtrusive alternative had to be found – the condom.
Known to the English as the “French Letter” and to the French as “La Capote Anglaise”, the true origin of the condom remains a mystery. Condoms have been around for over 3500 years. The Egyptians used them as protection against Bilharzia (a disease caused by an aquatic worm which can enter the body through any orifice), the Romans against VD. Though originally made of animal bladders, many materials have been used. Gabrielle Fallopio, the great Italian anatomist, first to describe them in 1564, used linen condoms as protection against syphilis. Though folklore attributes their invention to a Dr Condom at the court of Charles II, the name first appeared in print in a poem of 1716 describing the condom as a “guard against the Harm of Love.” White Kennett’s poem of 1724, “The Machine, or Love’s Preservative”, shows recognition of its true value.
Hear and attend: In CUNDUM’s praise
I sing and thou, O Venus! aid my lays.
By this Machine, secure, the willing Maid
Can taste Love’s Joys, nor is she more afraid
Her Swelling Belly should or squalling brat,
Betray the luscious Pastime she had been at.
Eighteenth century condoms were made from animal bowel, and, judging from a quantity found in 1953, came in a variety of sizes, each tied with a ribbon at the open end. Mrs Philips of London, was the biggest supplier proclaiming in her adverts: “We defy anyone to equal our goods in England.”
Casanova shows that a good deal of pleasure could be had just finding the right size condom. Visiting a brothel he was offered a packed of a dozen. “I put myself in the right position, and ordered her to choose me one that fitted well. Sulkily, she began examining and measuring. ‘This one doesn’t fit well’, I told her. ‘Try another’. Another and another; and suddenly I splashed her well and truly.”
Condom size has been the subject of many debates, and almost caused a diplomatic incident. When first supplied to Thailand, American condoms kept slipping off, much to the dissatisfaction of the Thais. As a result erections were measured in Bangkok massage parlours and in America. The average Asian penis was found to be 5.14 inches long and 4.34 inches in circumference, while Caucasians fared better with 6.0 inches and 5.0 inches. Anxious not to make the same mistake, the Japanese paid volunteers to make agar casts of their erect organs.
A lady with the unfortunate name of Barbara Seaman suggested in March 1978 that American condoms be marketed in three sizes, “Jumbo, Colossal and Super Colossal, so that men don’t have to ask for small.” More recently, as part of America’s “Condoms for foreigners” programme, condoms were sent to Mexico marked, “Small, Medium and Super Macho”, only the last being taken up.
Surprisingly Marie Stopes disapproved of condoms, though she pointed out that “large elongated balloons” could be had from Woolworth’s. She believed that semen supplied a stimulant to the woman which could, “benefit and nourish their whole system.” Only to newly weds did she recommend the condom as the inexperienced man may be “a little clumsy and thus fail in the proper placement of the ejaculate.” An event which might “cause such revulsion on the part of the Bride that the effect may be lifelong and ineradicable.”
If, as frequently happens, the condom should burst, the woman need not despair. She can turn to the ancient art of douching. In ancient Egypt, douche maids were employed to wash out the vagina with wine, garlic and fennel. Extremely messy and difficult to use, the douche never really caught on, Marie Stopes even describing it as “unreliable, unwholesome ad psychologically harmful.” Its main survival seems to be in the Far East where girls now douche themselves with Diet Coke, making a mockery of the slogan “Coke adds life”.
Permanent sterility is the main alternative to intermittent contraception, and some of the earliest methods of sterilisation can be found amongst the Australian aborigines. In 1894, J.G. Garson, MD, described how 18 year olds were selected from the tribe to undergo the ceremony of Mica. A small incision was made in the front of the scrotum, severing the urethra. Both urine and semen then passed out of the resulting hole. Alternatively, a thin sliver of kangaroo bone was inserted into the urethra at the base of the penis until it emerged at the glans. The urethra was then laid open along the length of the bone. Thanks to modern surgical techniques men are now spared the agonies of Mica, and can undergo vasectomy. Sterilisation being permanent, ways have been sought to help those men who, after surgery, feel a need for more children. One idea which never really caught on was patented on May 8th, 1973 by James M Loe. The “Corporeal Fluid Control Using Bistable Magnetic Duct Valve” was to be implanted on the sperm duct and, by means of a magnet, the user could open or close the valve, thus controlling their sterility.
Less formidable were the sperm banks. In 1972, Science reported the opening of the world’s first in Maryland, USA. The customer, they reported, “strolls into Idant’s small laboratory…fills out a form, and pays 80 dollars for the processing and storage of three samples. He then retreats to a tiny room furnished with a comfortable armchair, two pornographic magazines, and an ashtray.” He can then proceed with vasectomy, a relieved man.
That some people are naturally sterile has been known for centuries. The trick had been to decide who, before it is too late. Egypt’s Berlin Papyrus gives some useful tips. “Fumigate the woman with hippopotamus dung”, it advises. “If she urinates, or evacuates, or passes wind at the same time, she will not bear, but if she does not she will not.” For those lacking a ready supply of hippopotamus dung there is a simpler method. “Take the woman, and stand her in a doorway where her face can be seen, then examine her eyes closely. If one is like that of an Asiatic and the other that of a negress, she will not bear.” The advice gives a new meaning to gazing into your sweetheart’s eyes.
Women today, unblessed with an unmatched pair of eyes, can confidently place their trust in the Pill. In 1958, two years before the contraceptive pill became a reality, Aldous Huxley coined the term in his, Brave New World Revisited. Long before Huxley, other visionaries had developed their own versions. Dioscorides, in the first century, confidently announced that the bark of the white poplar tree, ground into a solution with a mule’s kidney, and drunk would make and effective contraceptive. He based his idea on the fact that the mule is sterile, and idea also seized on by the ancient Moroccans. They made a bread from a mule hoof enriched with flour, which the claimed would transfer the mule’s sterility.
By the Middle Ages the art of oral contraception had reached new heights. A powerful contraceptive could be made, it was said, by boiling the penis of a strong wolf with some pubic hair. Producing the same effect was a veal and vegetable soup, to which had been added the powdered penis of a red bull. Equally effective have been some of the oral contraceptives recommended in modern times. In 1957, China, driven to desperation by its massive population problem, conducted an experiment to determine the effectiveness of a Chinese folk contraceptive. Sixty women took part in the Chinese test. The instructions read: “Fresh tadpoles should be washed in clean cooled boiled water, and swallowed whole three to four days after menstruation. Fourteen live tadpoles on day one and ten more on the second day will prevent conception for five years. To be forever sterile, repeat the formula twice.”
In the test each woman swallowed 24 live tadpoles on day one, and 20 on day two. Presumably the scientists wanted to be doubly certain of the result. Surprisingly for them 43 percent of the women were soon pregnant. Despite this setback, Cheng Pui-yen of the Nanking Pharmaceutical Research Institute wrote in 1964 that tadpoles had been found to be “rather effective”. He added that it only remained to isolate the active constituent of the tadpole. Thanks to such optimism, China’s population remains the world’s largest, increasing by 38700 each day.
Of all the world’s oral contraceptives the most exclusive must have been the one used by Tibetan women. Its main ingredient was the dried excrement of the Dalai Lama, ruler of Tibet.
Reliance on folk magic has played a large part in the history of contraception. Oral contraception-in-reverse was used by medieval women, who would spit three times into the mouth of a frog. For long term protection they had simply to urinate on the urine of a wolf. Simpler still, but equally effective, was for the woman to sit on her fingers on the way to her wedding, each finger representing one child-free year.
Belief in symbolic acts became widespread throughout Europe. Sixteenth century Balkan women fixed an unlocked padlock to their dress before setting off for their weddings. The number of steps she made outside her house before locking the padlock represented her chosen number of childless years. When the groom arrived to take her to the church she could decide how many children she would have by climbing up a ladder, each rung representing one child. Provided the groom did not call the whole thing off as she climbed higher and higher, she could reinforce the spell by dropping grains of barley into her wedding shoes.
Less pleasant but equally effective were the beliefs involving the dead. Moroccan girls, fearing themselves pregnant, would step three times over a fresh grave, or they could go to the grave of a dead younger sister and shout, “I do not want any more children.” Dead younger sisters not always being available, this could be rather difficult. Middle European women shook the coffin of a dead child for similar effect, or washed themselves in water in which a dead child had been washed.
Repugnant in the extreme was the medieval French women’s custom of wearing about the neck the finger and anus of a still-born child. As a contraceptive its passion killing powers probably made it quite effective. Alternatively, the tooth of a child placed in an amulet was to be worn attached to the woman’s anus. The wearing of amulets has a long and ineffective history.
Aetius of Amida recommended wearing an amulet of ivory around the neck, the contents of which should be, “part of the womb of a lioness.” When lionesses are out of season he suggests, “the milk of a she-ass, with myrtle and black ivy berries wrapped in the skin of a hare, mule or stag.” Arab women fared equally badly, being encouraged to wear on their breast a box of rabbit droppings.
Where on the body the women wore the amulet seems to have been as important as its contents. Aetius states that a cat’s liver should be worn in a tube on the left foot, or, if the lady prefers the cat’s testicles, she should wear them around her navel. Sixteenth century women were salamander hearts tied to their knee and weasel’s testicles on their thigh. Also said to be effective were weasel feet worn around the neck, provided that the weasel was left alive after amputation.
Despite all these contraceptives, women continue to fall pregnant, and in despair, turned to the only options left. Abortion and infanticide have been around far longer than contraception, and several cultures have adopted them as an alternative. Girls have been the main victims of infanticide, being regarded in many cultures as burdens. So rife was infanticide in classical Greece that the father would publicly announce whether he intended to keep his newborn child or not.
Midwives were, in most cultures, as skilful at disposing of unwanted pregnancies as they were at delivering babies. Very often the writers who gave advice on contraception saw no distinction between contraception and abortion as a means of preventing unwanted babies. Almost all of the books dealing with contraception also dealt with abortion, sometimes graphically. A seventh century Chinese text gives a recipe for “The Thousand of Gold Prescription for Abortion,” which states that “the foetus will become like rice gruel and the mother will be without suffering.”
Despite, or perhaps because of these centuries of contraceptive practice, the world’s population continues to expand at an ever increasing rate. In 1987 the number of people living on the Earth exceeded five billion, and is growing at the rate of 150 a minute. The quest for the perfect contraceptive continues.
For the opposite point of view Click Here!
© R.I.Chalmers 1987
I believe that the number of people on the planet now is 7 billion, or close to it. That’s a hell of an increase in 20 years! I guess contraception needs to improve dramatically. But it is in line with my projected rate of increase of 150 a minute in 1987.
Posted under Clips
This post was written by Richard on August 19, 2008
© R.I.Chalmers
“I don’t want to hear any more of this nonsense,” raged Sister, as though we’d accused the Pope himself . “Mike’s a pleasant lad and a hard worker. It’s a shame there aren’t more staff like him.” That last comment was obviously a dig at Paula and myself, tidying up. But even if we got it spotless, Miss Baggley would find something to complain about and we’d get the blame.
As soon as we were in the storeroom, Paula smiled thoughtfully. “No one’s ever going to believe us about Mike,” she whispered bitterly. “It’s about time we sorted him out ourselves.”
I listened eagerly as she outlined her plan …
“It’s as simple as that,” Paula finished up. “I come on strong to Mike and make out that I’m desperate to meet him in the storeroom.”
“He’ll be waiting behind the door when Miss Baggley arrives for her inspection,” I chipped in. I could almost hear Miss Baggley’s indignant squawks as Mike’s hands went where no man’s hands had gone before. “I’d love to see his face when he realises his mistake!”
We went over the final details of the plan while we tidied the storeroom and I suggested we removed the light bulb … “So that Mike won’t know, until it’s too late, that his victim isn’t who he thinks she is.”
“But will he fall for it?” I frowned, carefully unscrewing the ceiling light.
“Of course he will,” laughed Paula. “If Mike thinks I’m willing to meet him here – alone he’ll jump at the chance.”
“But what if Baggley doesn’t arrive at two o’clock?” I asked, handing Paula the bulb.
Paula and I had got jobs as care assistants on a YTS scheme at the Temple Manor Home for the Elderly. Though the work often proved that slavery had not been abolished, we got far more satisfaction out of helping to look after the seventy elderly residents than we would’ve got packing biscuits at a local factory. We would’ve enjoyed it even more if it hadn’t been for Mike.
Mike was one of the male care assistants, with the biggest head on record! Physically, he wasn’t unattractive – having obviously spent a lot of time building his muscles in the gym – but as for the rest . . . yuk! Though he was only twenty-one, his behaviour, as he followed us around the home, was that of a dirty old man.
Apart from his lewd comments and octopus hands, Mike’s favourite trick was to lurk behind doors until one of us entered the room, when he would leap out, grab us from behind and fight for a kiss. In his own warped way, he probably thought we’d be turned on by his caveman tactics. Unfortunately, he always made sure there were no witnesses.
“I want you girls to tidy the linen store,” Sister had continued angrily. “Miss Baggley is coming to inspect it at two o’clock this afternoon.”
Once outside Sister’s office, I looked at Paula in dismay. The linen store was a huge mess of a room and would need a lot of work
“Stop worrying, Lorraine,” said Paula. “You know how keen she is about punctuality. She’ll be here, don’t worry.”
What Paula said was true. Miss Baggley, the Matron, might’ve been a fussy, sour-faced old maid, whose main pleasure in life seemed to be finding fault with everything we did, but she was never late for her inspections.
Mike was on duty at half-past twelve and, after lunch, we waited anxiously for the drone of his moped.
“Hello, Mike,” Paula purred, in her most seductive voice.
As Mike swaggered in and peeled off his jacket, Paula thrust herself against him, running her hand across his chest. Mike didn’t find this at all unusual. He’d obviously fallen in love with himself at an early age and thought it was only natural that everyone else had, too.
I tried desperately not to laugh as I watched from behind the dining- room door. Paula reached up and whispered something into Mike’s ear.
Mike’s vain expression melted into a lecherous grin. “Don’t worry about it, darling,” he boasted. “I knew you couldn’t resist me – no woman can. It was just a matter of time before you gave in.” He made a grab for Paula’s bottom.
Paula avoided Mike’s hand and retreated a few paces. “I’m as anxious as you, lover-boy,” she said, her voice silky and provocative. “But not now, not here.”
“Two o’clock,” said Mike eagerly. “I’ll be waiting.”
“I’ll be counting on it,” Paula smirked, blowing him a kiss.
After that, Mike strutted around the Home like an anxious stallion, until ten minutes to two, when he crept into the linen store. The trap was set.
At precisely two o’clock, Miss Baggley arrived outside the storeroom, gave me and Paula a get-back-to-work-this-instant look and disappeared into the darkness. The door clicked shut behind her as though on a powerful spring, and Paula and I smiled gleefully at each other.
“Nothing’s happening,” I said after a moment, demonstrating my flair for stating the obvious.
Nothing had happened … no scream, no disgusted Miss Baggley bursting from the storeroom, no horrified Mike standing red-faced in the doorway. Nothing.
“Perhaps Mike left when we weren’t looking,” I suggested, feeling all let down.
“But there’s no light in there,” Paula pointed out. “Baggley wouldn’t stay in the dark.” “Someone must’ve replaced the bulb since this morning,” I said.
“Mike!” groaned Paula. “You know how vain he is. He’d have wanted me to have a close look at his capped teeth and sun-bed tan!”
I nodded. “And he’d have noticed it was Miss Baggley and not you,” I said, turning away. “He’s probably helping her with her inventory right now.”
“But that means he’ll think I’m really keen on him,” moaned Paula as we walked away. “He’ll think I didn’t turn up because of Baggley.”
I nodded sympathetically.
About half an hour later, when I was wheeling one of the residents to the television room, I met Baggley walking slowly towards me along the corridor. She walked right past without her usual criticism – as though I wasn’t there – a faint smile playing across her face. Her hair, usually immaculately set, was hanging in loose grey strands above her shoulders.
Leaving the residents happily watching television, I rushed back to the ward kitchen where Paula was preparing the afternoon teas. “What’s happened?” I asked, once I’d told her about Miss Baggley.
Paula shrugged. “I’ve just seen Mike,” she whispered. “I can’t understand it. He didn’t say a word when he saw me, just stared through me like I wasn’t there.”
That was two weeks ago and whatever happened behind the linen store door has certainly had the desired effect ~ though not in quite the way we planned.
It certainly had a very big effect on Miss Baggley! These days she couldn’t be a nicer person. Instead of criticising us, she now asks our opinion about the latest fashions she’s taken to wearing – and last week she even traded in her well-maintained Morris Minor for a nifty little scarlet sports car. Temple Manor is now a great place to work.
As for poor, unsuspecting Mike, the incident marked the end of his career as a care assistant and he no longer works at the Home. From what I hear, though, he seems to be enjoying his new role as Miss Baggley’s toyboy.
Posted under Clips
This post was written by Richard on August 19, 2008
news release news release news release…
September 22, 2000
Virtual reality Internet exhibitions come of age
A rapidly growing independent company, Virtual Exhibitions Ltd. (Virtex), has taken the world of virtual reality Internet exhibitions by storm with two major shows launched within days of each other. Built for Optimus Exhibitions Ltd., the virtualhospitalityshow.com opened on 1st September with 6 halls and over 38 hospitality industry exhibitors. September 6th saw the launch of Reed Business Information’s Electronics Weekly Virtual Products Fair 2000.
Show organisers have sent out promotional CD’s for both shows to a selected audience and these install the necessary software components to springboard the user directly into the online show. In addition, the flexibility of a virtual exhibition allows for the seamless integration of additional stands while the show is running. Businesses have been signing up for stands from day one, and this trend is set to continue throughout the three months that the shows are running.
All Virtex shows provide a themed virtual show guide to give help and advice, and provide information about exhibitors and products. The guides are based on Microsoft Agent technology, and Microsoft has been working closely with Virtex.
Microsoft’s Industry Marketing Manager, Stephen McBride, said, “I’m very excited about the Virtex vision of exhibitions and happy to support their initiative.”
Unforeseen happenings, like the recent fuel-crisis, can jeopardise the success of real-world exhibitions reliant on their visitor’s ability to travel. Virtex shows do not have the same constraints of time and place. In his keynote speech in the virtualhospitalityshow.com, McBride identifies important advantages that virtual exhibitions have over real-world shows: “A virtual exhibition is an excellent way of harnessing the power of the Internet and modern PC technologies, to deliver an intuitive, exciting and cost-effective way of attending shows, at anytime, anywhere, on any device.”
Not only do customers enjoy a hassle-free experience at virtual exhibitions, but the exhibitors also benefit. They enjoy eCommerce enabled stands, detailed analysis and tracking of visitors, and the ability to easily update the information available at their stands. Many stands have 3D models of products, and clicking on these gives the visitor access to full product data sheets.
Each stand also has a communication pod through which to email the company, visit the company web site or obtain further information.
In addition to fully interactive stands, 3D product models, show guides and even virtual drinks machines, every Virtex show comes with its own conference centre. Keynote speeches and conference centre presentations are available, like the rest of the show, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to a global audience.
The government has demonstrated its commitment to supporting eCommerce initiatives such as those developed by Virtex. In the virtualhospitalityshow.com, Patricia Hewitt MP, Minister for Small Business and eCommerce, welcomes visitors to the show, saying: “The virtual exhibition is an important example of how the evolution of eBusiness has generated entirely new marketing concepts. It shows that eBusiness and eMarketing are within the reach of any company.”
Steve Martin, Managing Director of Virtex, echoed these sentiments by saying, “Our two latest shows were developed on the back of FlowExpo, a show launched just four weeks ago for the Invensys Flow Control group of companies. Not only is FlowExpo the most impressive showcase of our graphic capabilities, it also demonstrates that we have opened up the marketplace for global, private exhibitions for all levels of UK industry.”
Attention to detail has become a hallmark of Virtex shows, and the Invensys show is even more graphically seductive than the other two exhibitions. The entire show was completely custom-built by Virtex and visitors are beguiled with a sumptuous entrance hall, complete with waiting helicopter, tables, chairs and palm trees. This show demonstrates the realism Virtex can bring to a show.
Virtex, creators of the world’s first virtual Internet exhibition, Virtex’96, and has a proven record of commercial success in the industry. Demand for Virtex expertise is at an all-time high, and in addition to the shows already launched, the company is developing five further shows due for launch during 2000, with many other companies expressing interest.
Screenshots of shows are available on request.
Note to editors
The virtualhospitalityshow.com is available at www.virtualhospitalityshow.com
The Electronics Weekly Product Fair 2000 is available at www.virtexpo.com/ew/
FlowExpo is to be found at www.flowexpo.com
Posted under Clips
This post was written by Richard on August 18, 2008
I wrote this advert for an advertising agency. They asked me to write another campaign the following year.
All text by R.I.Chalmers
When it comes to shower curtains.
…which pattern do you prefer?
Are your shower curtains smart enough to help you combat infection?
Contour Showers Ltd. have created a new range of curtains that are smart not just because of the high quality of the materials and their exceptional build quality, but also because they now react aggressively towards microorganisms. Our new shower curtains work to break the chain of infection. At the same time, they can work to extend their operational lives by combating degradation resulting from bacterial staining.
Most antibacterial finishes, disinfectants and cleaning agents soon wear off in use. The antibacterial properties of our Dove range of shower curtains are durable, because we integrate Microban® antibacterial protection within our curtain fabric. Microban® works continuously to inhibit the growth of bacteria and other microorganisms to help optimise your aseptic programme.
Incorporated into our high-quality polyester during the manufacturing process, Microban® additives securely attach themselves to the polymer. The manufacturing process is not disrupted, and the curtains retain our trademark excellence in tensile strength, colour and finish. We precisely engineer our Dove range of shower curtains to contain exactly the right amount of Microban® to provide long-lasting antibacterial protection.
N.B. Microban® protected products are not a replacement for good hygiene practices.
Microban® is a trademark of the Microban® Products Company, Huntersville, North Carolina, USA
Posted under Clips
This post was written by Richard on August 17, 2008
This feature article appeared in Invaluable Magazine in 2000
Nothing Sacred
by
R.I.Chalmers
Thunderstruck by the blistering sermon delivered by Sunday’s staunch priest, the Medieval villain was left in no doubt about the dangers of falling from God’s grace. At a time when the penalty for even minor crime was often cruel, to enter God’s house with anything other than the purest motives was to place oneself in real danger of suffering an eternity in Hell. Medieval man was as likely to steal from God’s house as 21st century man is to give away all of his possessions.
Over the centuries, those hoping to secure themselves a place in Heaven bequeathed works of great beauty and value to the Church with the result that many of these ancient buildings are now treasure houses, full of priceless heritage objects. In 1995, the assets of the 16,000 Church of England churches were insured for an estimated £3.5 billion.
Although the church maintained its position as the focus of life for centuries, the advent of the Industrial Revolution, the rise of materialism, scientific discovery and universal literacy have removed the traditional fear of God from the minds of many. His house has become a legitimate target for criminals who see church treasures as spoils to satisfy the growing demands of the antiques market.
The modern Church faces a dilemma in balancing the need for security against the necessity of attracting people back into its fold. A locked door turns away the very people the Church needs to sustain it – yet easy access is an invitation to thieves.
The decline in the numbers of regular worshippers has worsened the
financial difficulties faced by the church. With tithes gone, and with the collection plate as empty as the pews come Sunday, the Church must increasingly rely on fund-raising events simply to keep its buildings from falling down. Money for security is not readily available and crime is hastening the Church’s decline. In the 1980s, 1000 Anglican churches closed.
Nick Tolson, the National Church Watch Co-ordinator, estimates that over 11,600 thefts and burglaries take place against Church property each year. The cost of these crimes amounts to around £3.5 million a year, or around £9,500 a day. Moreover, these figures do not include the cost of vandalism and arson. Tolson estimates that the combined cost of all crimes against the Church could be as high as £28 million a year.
Items regularly stolen include candlesticks, stained-glass windows, fonts, plaques, gravestones, bishops’ chairs, lecterns and other furniture, including pews. All these can be easily found on the open market, and are appearing increasingly on the Internet at various online auctions. A growing domestic and international market in religious artefacts has led criminals to steal to order; the stolen antiques have been recovered across Europe and as far afield as Australia. One stolen stained-glass window was even spotted in a Tokyo restaurant.
Peter is a career burglar who specialises in oak church furnishings and through his ‘profession’ has become something of an expert on antique oak chairs. As Peter points out: ‘Even if you do get caught, it’s easy to fool the police. I mean, they’re hardly experts, are they? If I tell them a chair’s a householder’s chair and not a bishop’s chair, because it’s got initials on the back, they’re not going to be able to prove me wrong.’
The difficulty the police have in identifying the items they recover is one of the factors attracting the criminal to church crime. Very often, when an officer attends a church to take the initial crime report details, the custodian of the church is unable to fully describe the missing item.
Peter explained: ‘You can call in all the vicars from all the churches I’ve turned over, but hardly any of them will be able to describe the things that have gone missing.
Peter does not have to work too hard to make a comfortable living. A single burglary can easily net him several thousand pounds, when he takes his ‘late grandmother’s bequest’ to an antique shop. If challenged, he will be confident that his ‘grief’ and the improbability of identification will make it almost impossible for anyone to prove that the chair is stolen.
Unfortunately for Peter, some vicars do take more than a passing interest in the contents of their churches and he is now serving a prison sentence for the burglary of several churches. Even so, he still had the cheek to write to the police from his prison cell, enquiring after a stolen bishop’s chair that he had been arrested in possession of while on bail. So confident was he that the chair would not be identified that he asked if he could arrange for someone to collect it, as it would ‘help him get started again’ when his sentence was completed.
The Church is beginning to fight back in an attempt to preserve what remains of our Christian heritage. While items of value held in churches can be marked, engraved or have electronic tags attached, a comprehensive inventory of church property can be made using little more than a cheap disposable camera and a pen. Many churches are taking this course, and Ecclesiastical Insurance has issued microdots to all Church of England churches to help with identification of their property in an attempt to deter the criminals.
The second National Conference of Church Watch is being held in Liverpool this month. Nick Tolson hopes that the conference will help to develop `a national crime strategy which encompasses all aspects of security, from prevention, to detection, to recovery of property.’
Despite these initiatives, it is clear that while the antiques market continues to flourish, Peter and the others like him will continue to see the church as a ready source of income. Peter does not steal from a church with the fear of eternal damnation hanging over him like the sword of Damocles. Nor does he fear some terrible secular punishment, such as the loss of a hand or foot, or even his life, as in the past. Today he will appeal against even a short prison sentence, and knows that if he is arrested he is likely to be bailed to commit further offences against a householder whom he considers to have left home for good.
© R.I.Chalmers 2000
This post was written by Richard on August 16, 2008
